“The One” Doesn’t Exist but Soulmates are Everywhere

Stop wasting time looking for “the one” when a soulmate could be right in front of you.

Photo by Katerina Holmes from Pexels

I believe in soulmates, someone you connect with easily and who was meant to be in your life, however, I do not believe in “the one”. Life can lead us in different directions and even the most loving relationships can end. If your soulmate has been taken away from you prematurely, you have every chance of finding a new one. There is more than one person on this planet that you can love and live a fulfilled life with.

Some may consider a soulmate to be someone you have an instant connection with that requires no work. I disagree, I believe a soulmate is someone with whom you are extremely compatible but are aware that relationships take work and you cannot take one another for granted. The easiest way to find a soulmate is to have a realistic expectation about love. A soulmate is not a perfect being, a soulmate is human like you.

Society is obsessed with the fantasy of searching until you find your person, “the one” who is meant for you. I don’t agree with dating around to search for “the one” when you could be missing out on a soulmate right in front of you.

Here are some ways you might unexpectedly run into a soulmate.

Finding a Soulmate At a Young Age

My partner and I have been together since we were 22. We met on a college trip and have been in a loving relationship ever since yet I spent much of my twenties being asked how I knew I was with the right person if I had dated so few men. Looking back, it feels insane that anyone would ask me that. If you are in a loving and respectful relationship that makes you feel happy and secure then why is there a need to date around and see what else is out there? I could see that the person I wanted to be with was right beside me.

Only a small percentage of relationships that start in a couple’s early twenties last but I am part of that small percentage. We did not rush into marriage or put any pressure on the steps we took in the relationship but we knew we loved each other and that was what was important. I am all for the people who want to spend their life dating around and meeting new people but that is not my life.

If anything was to happen to my partner I do not doubt that I could heal and find another soulmate but I am so glad I never listened to those who told me my twenties should be spent learning who I am and what I want. I knew what I wanted at 22 and our 9-year relationship and recent engagement is proof of that.

Finding a Soulmate After Loss

My friend tragically lost her partner of two years when she was in her late twenties. It was a devastating time and it took her months of darkness to see any light. By chance, six months after her partner’s death she ran into an old friend and they really hit it off. Immediately she had people warning her that it was a rebound and she needed time to take care of herself. Ten years later, she is still together with this “rebound” and happily married.

My friend says that after everything she went through what she remembers most are the people who judged her for falling in love. She will never forget the friends who used the word rebound now knowing this man would become her husband, friends who thought they were helping but were in fact making her feel sick with guilt. She did not expect to fall in love so quickly, but this person came into her life and her gut told her that he should stay in it.

We don’t know when we’re going to meet someone who is right for us so don’t judge a friend if it happens to them when you don’t expect it to. Everyone grieves in different ways and a soulmate might come along when we least expect it.

Finding an Age Gap Soulmate

For a long time, I never knew where I stood with relationships that have large age gaps. Then I realised it was because it is not something I have ever experienced or have had within my close circle.

A few years ago I came across Mindy Minx on YouTube. Mindy is 29 years old and her husband Larry is 30 years older than her. In her videos Mindy often explains that she didn’t set out expecting to end up in an age gap relationship, it happened naturally. She and Larry are two normal people who happened to fall in love. I don’t agree with the guy in his fourties who only ever dates nineteen-year-olds, and of course, all relationships must be legal and consensual, but I do believe that a soulmate can be older or younger than you are.

It all depends on the person. Many men and women in their early twenties are not ready to settle down with an older partner, but there are some who are. I’m sure there are older individuals who avoid relationships with younger partners because they are afraid of how society will judge them. If having an older or younger partner is not right for you that’s fine but don’t judge anyone who knows that it is right for them.

Final Thoughts

I think many people can be quick to judge relationships because they cannot see themselves in the situation. That’s not fair. If a relationship is full of love, respect, and honesty then who are you to judge it? Be glad that your friend or family member has found someone who makes them smile. There is no reason to search for a maybe when your soulmate could be right in front of you.

How do you know that you’ve found a soulmate? Most of the time you don’t immediately know. A lot of us are guilty of being completely blinded by love during the first few months of a relationship. For me personally, I knew I had a soulmate over a year into the relationship when I still wanted to share everything with my partner. For my friend, she said she knew after a few weeks having not even been looking for love. It is all relative.

Don’t discount that you’ve found your soulmate only because you weren’t looking for them — sometimes that’s when the best partners show up.

Living in Dublin, Ireland and working in film & television. Writing about lifestyle, experiences and my night-time thoughts. I love travel, health and puppies.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store